Great America!

Friday was a great day for Great America; there were virtually no lines,--except one; see previous post--the weather cooperated nicely, and the kids went a whole day without fighting, crabbing, or whining. The first ride we tackled: the Demon! 4 adults and 4 kids (ranging from 4-8) on a looping roller-coaster! And from then until we left around 9 hours later, the kids behaved like rational people. It was awesome! I hadn't been to Great America since I was in high school, and it's grown tremendously, so I know it must have been an overwhelming experience for the 4 munchkins, but they didn't show it. Nobody cried when they didn't get to sit next to so-and-so, even though they cry at meals or short car rides when they don't get the seat they want. Nobody tried to hit anybody for any reason, even though at home there needs to be no reason to hit a sibling (Hit-A-Sibling...kinda like Whack-A-Mole with sound effects...wonder if I could market that...maybe to one-children households). Nobody whined or complained when someone else chose something they didn't like, even though at home the whiny complaining begins before the choice is complete. All this led me to one conclusion: we should go to Great America every day!

No, not really. The conclusion it led me to was simple: our kids are growing up and acting like we've done our job as parents pretty well. Jen and I were really proud of the way they presented themselves that day. And as much as I love my kids and are proud of them and genuinely glad I have them, I think I speak for all parents when I say that some days they could be someone else's kids and that would be fine. But on Friday they were great, which made the day at Great America great!

Great, America

So we took the 3 older kids to Great America on Friday with our neighbors who have a son between Little's and Tiny's ages; it worked out well having 4 adults and 4 children. After a stormy beginning to the day, everything fell into place beautifully. There were minimal waits for the rides--Iron Wolf had no line--and the kids behaved terrifically. The only ride we had any wait for was the Yankee Clipper, which is basically the log ride with boats, so I'm not real sure about the purpose of it; maybe it's designed for people who like the log ride but are afraid of logs or plastic log-looking-things.

Anyway...during our wait we started talking about what age to let our kids go to Great America--or anywhere for that matter--without us. We all exchanged stories about how old we were and what the rules our parents had were and all that. And we all came to the same conclusion: it couldn't work that way anymore. I remember going to malls with my mom and having to meet her at a certain place at a certain time. I remember going places with my sister soon after she got her license and going off in separate directions; I was maybe 9. And I remember going to Great America not too long after moving to Illinois, so middle school, and I sure as heck didn't hang out with my mom and step-dad.

Now, Girly is 8 and Little is 7, and no way would I let them go anywhere out of my sight. And it's not because I don't trust them, which I mostly don't, it's that I don't trust the rest of the world. Chuck E. Cheese doesn't even trust the world anymore. If you haven't been to CEC lately, everybody gets a stamp, the stamp has to match the kid's stamp, or you can't get out. I almost got security called on me at one for trying to take my kids home because I met them there, so my stamp was different. I had to have the other family we were with vouch for me, call my wife, and show the pictures in my wallet, along with 2 forms of ID. Kids are safer at Chuck E. Cheese than they are at school or in their neighborhoods.

And there is the problem: the mindset. Kids aren't actually safer at CEC than at school or in their own neighborhoods, but we've been trained now to believe the world is just too dangerous. We now have a term for over-protective-watch-their-kids-all-the-time parents: helicopter parents. When I was younger we simply called them glad-they're-not-my parents. Our playgrounds have done away with jungle gyms and see-saws; some even get rid of swings. Our schools have locked doors and cameras all over. Our mindset has changed from fostering growth in our youth to protecting them as long as possible. And I'm no better. I'd like to not be over-protective, to do things the way my parents did, to revert to the old mindset, but it goes back to the conclusion we reached in the only line we had to wait in: it can't work that way anymore. So, I don't know when the right age is to let them meet at a certain place at a certain time or go off alone and check in, but I do know that I'm glad we didn't wait in any other lines, as the rest of the day was a blast--next post topic.

Happy Campers

So I took Little and Mini to a Cub Scout family camping weekend, while Girly, Tiny, and Baby stayed home with Jen (I've noticed almost all mom-bloggers give pseudonyms to their kids, while dad-bloggers are more liberal about their children's real names. Seeing as the reason I'm blogging is because of the lack of dad-blogs--see my first post--I'll go the way of the moms here...mother knows best). It was the first time any of the kids have gone camping. Jen went with me once when we were dating, only to be surprised when we actually slept in tents and nobody was bringing a camper to sleep in.

Jen and the great outdoors don't always get along, which is fine as it does take some getting used to. As a girl, she'd go camping with her grandparents, who owned an RV, so some of the creature comforts of home were also camping creature comforts. As a boy, I'd always gone camping in tents, sometimes to places that had no amenities.

On those trips we made fun of my uncle who had to bring porta-potties, the training kind, for his kids, as his wife, who didn't go camping, refused to have her kids go in the woods to go in the woods. We eventually graduated to a campground that had running water and toilets and even electricity at certain sites. But we still had tents, so when the family camping trip arrived, I was looking forward to the tent life, as it had been years, probably since that trip Jen and I went on, since I'd been camping.

Anyway, the boys loved it! After a ridiculously sweaty set-up--the lack of humidity in Colorado versus the ever-present humidity in Illinois stands as the biggest distinction--the campground was ready for the weekend. Once the fire got going, the following conversation happened every five minutes: "Is it time for s'mores?" "Not until the sun goes down." Multiply that by about 11 kids and you can understand why we started s'mores a bit early. After some treats and conversation, it was bed time all around, as the day ahead was busy and supposed to be hot. Besides missing my amazing wife and other three kids, I was very happy to be in a tent. The boys actually treated each other better in those 2 days than I'd seen in a long time. Throughout the next day and night, Little interacted with the other boys without having to be first all the time, which is a big departure for him; Mini just did his best to keep up and he didn't cry when he was left behind by the bigger boys; he continued to go along. It was awesome not to hear fighting or whining or crying every few minutes, and besides the occasional tripping over tent ropes or tree roots or falling off picnic tables or large logs, all the boys amused themselves without needing a parent's care or permission or attention.

The best thing about the trip, besides the food, which is always a camping gem, was getting to know the families. When there isn't a TV or computer or game system or anything of the like to steal our attention, good old conversation is all that's left (or something like geocaching or letter boxing, which are things people do because nature itself is too boring). My favorite aspect of camping is simply sitting back, relaxin' and talkin', with no agenda or plan to follow. Only camping do I feel this at ease with doing nothing; everywhere else, I can always think of something I should be doing, but when camping, there is nothing else that should be done. Sure there are many projects at home that could be done in addition to the rigors of daily existence, but nothing so pressing it had to be done right now, and if something became pressing, the car was close enough. I think this is why I have so many fond camping memories from when I was younger: it's when I really got to know my family, not for who they were in regard to their responsibilities, but for the stories they told and how they reacted to each other. Life makes us do some of the oddest things in the name of societal expectations. For a couple days it was nice to get away from all that and simply focus on people; I hope my boys grow to cherish the moments when nothing is the most important thing to be doing.

What to do with no power

So, we survived the 40 hour power outage without losing any thing.  Even our sanity is intact.  The only major casualty in our household was the trampoline that traveled a few yards and ended lodged in some trees, but even it appears to be repairable; of course I think that about most things--might have something to do with the male psyche.

Spending time with my family during those hours of no technology felt good.  It was nice to be unplugged and disconnected from the rest of the world.  My wife and I played rummy, completed the whole game, and neither of us got competitive--a big change from 10 years ago, when we almost broke up over a game of racquetball. My kids played surprisingly well together after the initial "there's nothing to do" whines.  We built with Legos, which reminded me of my childhood, but we had to follow the directions. 

I really did enjoy my time with my family while the plugged in world was unplugged; hopefully we can continue build on the things we did during the electrical hiatus, and my kids can discover some of the imagination we had as children that I sometimes think all our plugging in drains out.  Next up:  camping!

Benefit of Technology

People are no longer comfortable around people.  We can text and internet chat for hours--sometimes even with random people-- but we can’t answer a phone without knowing who it is first.  We can type comment after comment on a facebook or blog post, but we can’t hold a conversation that requires eye contact for more than a few moments.  We can let our children spend hours online, but we won’t let them out of our sight on our own block.  Through our great advancements in technology, we’ve actually made ourselves afraid of the people near us.  We are more comfortable talking to a person we will never meet rather than our neighbors.  With all of our means of connectivity, we are more disconnected from humanity than ever.  We spend more effort following the trial of a mother in Florida than we spend knowing what’s going on in our own community, then we all perceive to be experts on that trial, yet still have no input as to situations we can actually affect.  To digress for a moment, I have news for all who think they know the real outcome:  if a jury can reach a unanimous verdict of not guilty, the case was weak; the prosecution made the mistake of hoping the jury would neglect their duty and convict on emotion and not evidence, of which there apparently was not enough.  As a father of five, I want justice for the little girl, and I believe that in the end, fate or karma or whatever you want to call it will have things as they should be, even though less than a week has passed and people have moved on.  Back to the point: People know more about things that do not affect them than they do about what goes on directly around them; we are more in touch with the happenings in far away places than in our own towns.  And as a result, we are afraid of everything because of a few examples we see or hear about.

I remember going to my Grandma’s house, getting my Grandpa’s old, broken BB rifle, meeting a neighbor boy in the storm sewer that ran behind her house and pretending we were any number of things, as long as we got to travel the whole area.  Playing with a gun, playing out of sight, playing in places that could potentially be dangerous (I’m pretty sure the teens in the neighborhood used the area as a drinking spot with all the broken beer bottles we’d find), none of those things could happen today.  “Be home before dark” used to be the rule, unless of course we were playing a game that required the dark; now the rule is “stay where  I can see you.”  I mean, we now designate times for trick-or-treating, during the daylight, which kinda defeats the purpose a bit.  I’m not saying it’s not safer, but I was never injured nor accosted at night going all over the neighborhoods, well out of sight of my own home.  Some say the world has gone mad, but I think really it is us that have gone mad.  The more we know about the world, the less comfortable we feel in it, but the world has always been a bit “mad;” it’s just we didn’t have access to all the potential threats.  We’re more connected to the world, yet disconnected from reality at the same time.  And while I do enjoy knowledge and technology, I wish I could go back to a time when I wasn’t suspicious of the ice cream truck driver.  

Why?

My first post; what a milestone.  Ok, enough of that.  Why did I decide to try blogging?  My wife blogs, and I love my wife.  The other day she took one of those quizzes that has only bad choice results, yet females of all ages continue to take them and subject the males in their lives to the bad choice results.  Long story (maybe a future post) short, she asked why quizzes like that didn't exist for men.  Her answer: men don't care.  I tried to refute that point, but part of her evidence was all the blogs and resources devoted to wives and mothers.  So I've spent the past few days looking for good resources for husbands and fathers to improve themselves.  Most are geared toward a specific stereotype male (the car guy, sports guy, etc.) or are written from a skewed perspective (single dad, stay-at-home dad, out-of-work dad, etc.), I didn't really find any that were just for dads and/or husbands--no slant--just dads and/or husbands.  I mean I didn't scour the internet, but a few deliberate searches did not yield the results I desired, so I figured I'd try it.  Who knows, maybe someone points me in the direction I was seeking; maybe I figure it out myself.

So there it is, no real agenda, just trying to see what will happen.  Maybe I'll decide this blog thing isn't for me.  Maybe I'll find the dad/husband advice I was looking for.  Maybe I'll stick with it.  All I know now is I'm trying something new that will hopefully make me a better husband, father, and man in general.